Whoa.

Extended holiday in the Swiss Alps? Nope.

Short stint in the witness protection program? Nope.

Coma? Ummm....sort of?

Oh blog how I've thought of you over the past 5 months and just could. not. get. to you.

This is what I DID get to:

Went under contract on a house - one that we had been searching for for over 2 years.

Rented a storage unit. I know that sounds menial but trust me when I say that it was a big whopping deal. One that took FOREVER. Selling our house took less time than renting that storage unit.

Put our house on the market on a Wednesday.

Received an offer on Thursday.

Went under contract on Friday.

Shceduled a closing date.

Scheduled another closing date.

Had a freak out.

Scheduled another closing date.

CLOSED!!

MOVED!

Threw up in my car...while driving. Found a Japanese Wasp in our house. Found poo in our toilet (not Helbig poo. someone's poo).

RENOVATED!

Lived with almost everything we owned piled into one room for 6 weeks.

Fast forward to May, 2010 - we survived but re-reading this post (which was written way back when and just now getting posted) I still get a little nauseous. Moving took a toll on me that was completely unexpected. How my mom survived moving her family the seven times in just my life, not counting the numerous times before I came along, I will never know. But, the fact that almost every day Matt and I express how happy and thankful we are to be living in our new home makes every part of the journey to get here worth it.

Will post more pics when I can find them! This is the side road that goes down to our shed, and as of a few weeks ago, our garden. More on that to come as well!

Under

Matt and I have been looking for a house for almost 3 years now. We currently live in the house that I bought before I met Matt. It's a little ranch, close to downtown, in a "transitional" neighborhood. When I bought it in 2001 the transition was beginning. I would say that the hood is now in phase II. A couple of people have done pretty big additions, quite a few have done renovations but there are still some homes that could use some TLC. This little house is where we lived when we met, when we brought Lola home, then Gunner, got married and is where we prepared for, and had, our first child together. I'm really proud of this home and proud that I bought it when I was young and single. But it is not where we need to be. The people in this neighborhood are wonderful...but we are flanked on 3 sides by not so great apartment complexes. The foot traffic we get are the type that throw their McDonald's bag and Bud Light Lime bottles in the road or, better yet, our yard.

And it is small. It was great for me and Matt and even Lola fit fine. But add another 100 pounds of black dog and baby...and an office for Matt to work in and you have CLAUSTROPHOBIA. And a TIGHT CHEST every time the baby is sleeping and Matt comes home, or moves, or the dogs bark...or move. It just isn't working for us.

Matt has never felt like this is his "home" and has always wanted to live in the country. To live in the country means moving out. Way out. I work downtown, my gym is downtown, my 5:15 a.m. running buddies are downtown. And I have a baby that I don't see enough as it is. How is adding an hour commute time before and after work going to be ok? It isn't.

So we talked, and looked, and talked, and fought and looked, and looked, and looked. And prayed and prayed and prayed. And then we found it. Our perfect compromise. Our meant to be home. We both had a good feeling about it from the time I learned about the house and sent the listing to Matt. We knew not to get our hopes up but this was different - this feeling that "this was the place" had never happened to us before but we both had it now. BOTH of us. I think our realtor is the only other person who understands the poingnancy of that term - "Both of us."

We saw the house and made an offer that night. A long and agonizing 6 days later we hear that our offer has been accepted as is. Yay! But the contract was not signed or dropped off like the seller said it would be. 1, 2, 3 days later, we hear that she wants her attorney to look over the contract. So we wait again and at last hear that we're good. The attorney is fine with this standard NC real estate contract. But again, the contract is not signed or dropped off. Another restless night of sleep and we get the word it is done. The contract is signed - we're on! Now we just have to sell Fenton St...

We clean, put excess furniture in storage, take down personal items and pictures and mentally try to prepare ourselves for the months ahead. We have to have a system: dogs stay outside as much as possible, have Ti come every week to clean while the house is on the market, I do a, b, and c every morning and d, e, and f, every night. Matt has his list. Swiffer, vacuum, mop, mop, mop!!

The house goes on the market at noon on Wednesday. Our first showing is at 1:00 on Thursday. We go under contract 9:00 pm Friday. Say what?!? Yes! Yes! Yes! Fenton St. is under contract!

We are scheduled to close on August 21st and will rent Fenton St. from the new owner through September 18th while the renovations on our new home are being done. We are thankful and thrilled and so looking forward to our fresh start in this new home - that we searched for and dreamt about together. Both of us.

18 Months...A Little Late

I started this post when B turned 18 months. Fast forward a month and here we are finishing it up. And so it goes...

B is a very busy little girl. She is in constant motion, constantly changing directions (and sometimes mood) faster than you can blink, and always a big source of joy. I think I've said this before but I'll say it again - my biggest surprise in birthing and raising this child is how much I laugh with her around. I didn't know I would find her this amusing, especially as early as I did. I love watching her wheels turn.

Some things little precious has been up to:

The girl is obsessed with shoes. You better watch your big toe if you're hanging out with the Helbigs. You never know when a little hand is going to grab it and try to shove it into her size 4 white sandals. She has, on occasion, thrown a fit when I take her shoes off. And the other morning she was adament about only wearing the left shoe. I suppose the right one got her right mad about something. Last week I saw her put her shoe on the leg of my desk chair.

Our new favorite game is "shoo fly, shoo". Flies really gross me out and I don't know why but for about a week we had quite a few hanging out in the house. She now calls anything that flies a fly and waves her hand and says "shoo, shoo, shoo". I love it.

Watch out Gunner...I see tutus in your near future.

Last week I caught her licking the dog bowl...which was just licked clean by Lola.

She finally pointed to me when I asked her "where is your mama?" Up until this month she would always point to herself, I'm assuming because I would always point to myself when I said "I'm your mama." I love hearing her call me mommy.

Is repeating everything we say and starting to string words together.

Is stepping down into the playroom unassisted.

Knows where Texas, Alaska, Hawaii, California, Maine, New Hampshire and Connecticut go on her USA puzzle.

She is officially a climber - can climb into her highchair by herself now. This feat made her SO happy.

Has added some hip action into her dance moves. I have no idea where she picked this up.

Is pretty much guaranteed that she will whine and want me to hold her from the time we start dinner until she is sitting down to eat.

Is still chasing boys and finally found one that can't run from her...yet. And Ozzie gets as tickled by getting her kisses as she does about giving them out.

Jackie had to put her in time-out for the 2nd time in her short little life. The first was an "emergency" time-out because she had climbed the stairs without supervision. 2 weeks ago it was for hitting Jordan because he was sitting in the chair she wanted. After Jackie let her out of time-out, she got up and hit the coffee table. That temper is SO Helbig. Jackie saw her hit the table but did not look at her. B stood there for a second then ran to Jackie to hug and kiss her. She didn't mean to do it...

I have found that saying a firm "no" and then staring at her is pretty effective in curbing bad behavior. She stops and stares back, then her eyes get shifty while she contemplates her next move, then will look back at me. If I stay stern, 9 times out of 10 she makes the right decision to stop the mischief. And then she gets a big grin and says "hi" to me.

She has started climbing into her chair in her room and reading books out loud. Oh my gosh. She looks like such a big girl doing this. It kills me.

Yesterday we went to the park and she does not want to be touched after you get her going on the swing. It had been a while since I took her to swing so I wasn't real sure of her skills. She did really well until she decided it was time to get off and did a face plant into the mulch. Oops.

And lastly, she went through/is (hopefully) finishing the stage where when she can't do something, whines incessantly until you help her. We were very consistent in saying "help, please" during these moments and I taught her the sign for "help" as well. She modified the sign so that it looks like she is in the final game of volleyball beach Olympics, setting up for the winning point. And now that she can say "help", the enthusiasm with which she asks and signs for help is undeniable. The only thing you can do is drop EVERYTHING and RUN to her aide.

Mama loves you baby. Love, love, loves you.

Dr. Jekyll & Miss Hyde

Jackie is taking care of Brantley at our house today since the Brocks have all been stricken with the stomach bug. It is great having her at our house and being able to spend more time seeing them interact. Brantley adores "Ja-gee" and I believe the feeling is mutual.

It also gives us an opportunity to compare notes. For example, I came home for lunch and while Jackie washed Brantley's hands and got her in her highchair, I made her lunch - pb&j, yogurt, blueberries and milk. I set it down in front of her and she immediately pushes away her plate and rolls up her mat and tried to undo her seatbelt. Jackie wonders what she is doing. She has never seen this behavior from Little Precious. Apparently Little Precious wanted Jackie to prepare her mid-day meal since she immediately began eating once Jackie gave her a napkin and placed her sandwich on that for her to enjoy. Ok...

Next up, the "ahuum, ahuum, ahuum" at the sight of Matt eating his lunch. This is the sound she makes when she begs for food...even though she just ate. Jackie asked me what she was doing. "What? She has never begged you for food?" "No! She's never begged me for anything!" Hmmm...well, that is her begging for food. Lovely isn't it?

Last up, the "anh, anh, anh". We hear this whenever she wants something but can't get it. "You've heard her do that, right? She does it quite frequently. I'm sure you hear it at least 10 times an hour, right?" "No, no! I've never heard her say that! She comes over and grabs my hand and takes me to what she would like to have." Ohhhh...ok.

You get the Jekyll - I get Miss Hyde!

PS: Do you see her contemplating her next move in the photo? I'm onto her now!

A new low. Even for us.

A few Monday's, we dropped Lola off at the vet for her knee surgery and brought Gunner in because he makes like a cow pretty frequently, grazing on grass in the backyard and eating sticks, and then throws up in Matt's office at night. I think it is his way of showing his love for Matt but boy, does it make for a not so pleasant morning when Matt finds Gunner's calling card. I never quite understood why Matt would get so bent about it. Yes, it's a nuisance and gross but let's just clean it up and move on. Then Matt told me to think of how I would feel if I walked into my office every morning and had to clean up a pile of vomit. Well, if you put it that way...

Dr. Jon gave Gunner some acid reflux meds and we have not had an issue since. Great! That was pretty easy.

Now Lola, easy is not the word for her. Nor is calm, normal, fun, clean, or good. She has been ok about staying on her bed or laying in the kitchen. But every time she does move, her incision bleeds and it got to the point where we thought she had ripped her incision open. So back to the vet we go. The joy that dog finds in going to the vet is off the charts. So excited in fact that poop flew out of her rear end right there in the lobby. There was no warning before the flying poop. No squatting, no whimpering, no attempt to get outside. She did not miss one beat. One second there was a clean floor 2 feet in front of me and the next there was a pile of poo. I told you we had a hit a new low.

Dr. Jon checked her out and assured us that the incision was fine and the blood/fluid coming out was normal. And, by the way, would you like me to prescribe her a sedative to get through the next week? Huh, YES. YES PLEASE. I asked him if she was the worst patient he had ever seen and he said, "If by worst, you mean the most exuberant, yes, she's in the top 10." That's our girl. Of the thousands of dogs he has seen in his career, ours gets on the Top 10 Bad Dog List. We're so proud.

We were looking forward to a nice peaceful evening with Lola laying down calmly and getting the first good night's sleep since Tuesday. We gave her that sedative and not 30 minutes later she is unable to get up and her eyes are glazed over and bloodshot. We don't think this is normal. We place a call to the emergency vet who said that is was ok but if we see any vomiting or labored breathing to bring her in. Or if it didn't look like she was coming out of it in 6-8 hours. At 11:30, 5.5 hours into it, Matt notices that every time she breathes in, her whole body quivers. Off to the vet she goes. Matt has to carry 103 pounds of dead lab weight out to the truck. Miracle of all miracles, she walks when she gets to the vet - because she LOVES the vet.

Thankfully, the Beanster is ok. Nothing can keep that dog down for long. As much as we joke about giving her the blue needle, we will be devasted when her time is up. We love her just as much as she gets on her our every last nerve. We love her for her zest for life, her unbridled joy for the simplest of things, her neverending desire to just be near us. And that face? How can you not love this face?

Sabbatical - Part II: The Not So Fabulous

Where the heck did my font option go?

Anyway, we had a couple of not so fabulous things occur the last 3 weeks but, thankfully, I had to rack my brain to remember what they were. I almost hate to even write about them but...such is life, right? I'll keep it short and to the point so if you're in a good mood while reading this you have a good chance of staying that way.

First, our AC didn't work in the condo for the first week and half! Long story short, there was a mix up and what should have been a 3 day inconvenience turned into 10. I feel a bit wronged here and am thinking about writing a letter to the rental company. It seriously would not have been a big deal except that (a) I had more than one restless night of sleep due to the 747, also known as a portable AC, they installed to keep the master bedroom cold. I mean cool. I mean borderline warm; (b) I missed out on 4 nights of sleeping to the sound of ocean waves; (c) Our guests did not have the benfit of the 747 and really were pretty warm; (d) Meeting the AC techs and coordinating with the rental co. took precious, precious, time; and (e) The rental company just was not that apologetic about the situation. They definitely handled it the best they could but I still feel like I paid for something that I did not receive.

Second, Matt called me the first Monday I was there to let me know that Lola would need surgery on her knee when I got back. She tore a ligament and was limping badly. The vet gave her some pain meds to get her through the past few weeks and Matt and I dropped her off this morning for the surgery. Thankfully, she came through fine and, as Dr. Jon reported, "She is on narcotics and is enjoying the ride." It is VERY weird not having her here. Our shoebox actually seems bigger but the house just seems empty without her. We pick her up tomorrow at which time we will beg Dr. Jon for a 4 month supply of narcotics so that we can keep the Beanster calm during recovery. For those of you who have met Lola, you know that calm is not in her limited vocabulary.

Third, and this is the most freaky although I'm pretty sure it was harmless, I received a message through my Flickr account that someone wanted to add me as a contact. I did not recognize the name so I logged on to check him out. His profile came up "Single" and "Male". And "Child Photographer". If you watch Oprah you know how those 4 words in this context can FREAK YOU OUT. I looked at some of his current contacts and he really did seem harmless but who is he and how did he find my stuff? I thought I had made all my photos for "Friends and Family Only" but apparently not. I denied the request and am now in the process of making sure everything is for "Friends and Family Only". Such a sucky feeling.

So that is a wrap for the Not So Fabulous. Am really thankful that the Not So Fabulous was really not so bad...

Sabbatical - Part 1: The Fabulous

I CANNOT believe that I have only 2.5 more days left at the beach! I seriously tried to slow time down these past 3 weeks and here we are, shocked at the reality of how it has all gone way too fast. Fast but fabulous. For the most part.

Brantley...what can I say? I love that little being with every once of myself. The week that just she, Matt and I were together was perfect. B thinks that Matt is the most hilarious person ever and he LOVES that she thinks that. And I love all of it. Lots of love going on here. The cool part is that we think she is the funniest little thing we've seen. I would say that my biggest joy these past weeks is that I really got to know my baby. That is fabulous and so, so, so sad to me at the same time.

Taylor and Joel came for a visit which was super fun. 2 pitchers of margaritas and watching Joel run from B as she tried to lay kiss after kiss after kiss on him - good times.

Mom and Dad are here to round out the beach vacay. It is great to be with them and have them get to know B. I think she knows they're special people in our lives. Today on the beach, M&D went for a walk and as they were walking back towards us she caught sight of them pretty far out. They were just figures walking but she knew it was them and she wouldn't stop looking at them until they got closer at which point she got up and ran to them. Sweetness.

Matt and Dan fished and we feasted on Mahi Mahi - delicious!

As far as hitting the beach goes, the weather could not have been better. Boating, not so good but we're sticking to the fabulous here.

I cooked! Once...but it was good...

Finished Pillars of the Earth. Great, long read. Some parts were very disturbing to me but overall I would recommend it.

I actually have some color for the first time in years. I know it isn't healthy but IT FEELS SO GOOD.

We're off...to the beach!

In 12 hours I will officially be on sabbatical. Can I get a heck yeah? Alright...

The last month has been a bit crazy - I've had the general feeling of wanting to either (a) run. Run fast and far and furiously. Or (b) drink and drink and drink...and drink. I didn't do either which is good since it would probably take my whole sabbatical to recover from both options. Instead, I just ran around in a general state of tension but it is going, going, almost gone.

Here's the gist:

(1) Had to prepare to be out off of work for 4 weeks. Don't think I've been that on task since nesting with B.

(2) Put an offer on a house.

(3) Got hopes up about said house.

(4) Didn't get house.

(5) Went to dr. for a pain in my side that had been nagging me for about a month.

(6) Dr. said "hmm".

(7) I said "Dr. S. - let me tell you what patients don't want to hear when you have an ultrasound probe up their mo...

(8) Dr. S. thought it was an etopic pregnancy.

(9) Peed in a cup.

(10) Test inconclusive.

(11) Gave blood to make sure I was not pregnant....and to test for cancer.

(12) Not pregnant. Not cancer.

(13) Went back for 3rd ultrasound last week - cyst? bi-lobal ovary? Hmmm...

(14) Don't know but hopefully Duke Obgyn will. We'll find out when I get back. But I'M NOT WORRIED. We've ruled out the bad so...

(15) Talk with boss. Things are changing...more on that later.

(16) B's nanny's dad passed away after a long illness. Very sad for Jackie.

(17) Would have celebrated Jamie's 9th birthday on the 14th. 9 years. 9 years...

(18) Somehow I did it. Brantley, Matt and I got to the beach yesterday and we are settled into our home for the next 3 weeks. Cheers to that!

In just 24 hours I feel like a different person. Matt has been traveling so much this past month and this disconnect was beginning to get to me. We needed the past 24 hours like Lola needs her tennis balls.

So, our biggest plan for the next 3 weeks is to not have a plan! I'm real excited about that but a little nervous at the same time. I am a person that operates on plans and schedules. The Known is my friend. I'm comfortable with her. The only known I know right now is that I am really geeked to be able to soak up every minute of Brantley. She is growing up so fast and I feel like I'm just holding on to every piece of her I can because tomorrow that piece is going to be something different - bigger, smarter, funnier. Just different.

I am really, really thankful for this sabbatical. It could not have come at a better time. God hit the nail on the head with this one. Not only am I am thankful for this time off, this 4 week paid time off!, I'm really thankful that I work for company that values their employees. I know a lot of companies tout the work/home balance but SP literally puts their money where their mouth is. More companies should do this - can you imagine how happy all the worker bees would be?

Pictures from our first day coming soon...

Miss Poppy

Jackie gave this outfit to B for her birthday. We headed up to the historic neighborhood around the corner and let her run loose for an hour. Oh, the joy of being free to roam! Once again we're struck by the similarities between our 2-legged child and the 4-legged beasts we also claim as offspring.

Note To Self.

If the little person you're batheing has major gas in the tub - wash body and hair as fast as possible and get a diaper on that kid.

To my reader's relief there is no picture to commemorate this moment.

Cherry Blossom 10 Miler

Last weekend Erin, Summer, Naomi and I ran the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler in DC. Can I just say I had no idea how pretty DC is. I don't know if I didn't appreciate it the many times I've been there before or the city has had a little face scrub or the cherry blossoms, sunshine and warm weather just made it glow. Anyhow, it was really pretty.

I met Summer and Erin in Richmond where I left my car and hopped in with them. I am so glad Summer drove...and even more glad that we arrived there and home safely. Summer lived in DC for a couple of years so she knew her way around pretty well. And drives like you would imagine someone from DC or NYC driving - like a bat out of hell. She mentioned that she has become a calmer driver since becoming a mom. Hmmm....glad I wasn't a passenger pre-mommyhood. The great thing about her driving was traffic was horrendous and we were doubting whether we would make it in time to pick up our race packets. Because of her awesome skills, we made it with 10 minutes to spare. And the line that was wrapped around the block when Naomi was there earlier in the day was non-existent. Sweet.

We went to this place called Olives for a drink and appetizer and to check out the dinner menu Saturday night. As the oh-so-lovely waitress complained about all the tourists in town (after we told her where we were from) and then daintily tour off her fingernail and through said nail on the floor behind the bar, we opted out of dinner. The manic bartender and the other waitress popping cheese and olives in her mouth not 2 feet from us only confirmed that decision.

So we walked to the Italian place the concierge had recommended. I suppose every other conciege in the city recommended it too because it was packed. We passed this place called Rumors which Erin and I remember going to back in the day but cannot for the life of us remember with who or why (anyone?). We did finally find some good eats and then headed to bed for our early wake up call.

We were close enough to the start to walk to the race. We met up with Naomi and were off! It was perfect running conditions. The Cherry Blossom trees were so pretty - I was kicking myself the whole time for not bringing my camera. The race was great - we ran it in about 1:45 which I was pleased with considering my longest run during "training" was 5.3 miles.

We were in a rush to get back on the road so there was no time for walking around and taking pics after the race. The only photos I got were hanging out of the car as Summer sped toward home.

(Cherry Blossoms - waaayyyy over there.)

(For my dad.)


(Post, post race. That's it. Momma is getting a haircut.)

And the Freak Mom Award Goes To...

Last month while I was brushing B's teeth I noticed a dark spot on the back of her bottom front tooth. I scrubbed and scrubbed for a couple of days without being able to remove the spot so I called my dentist who I l-o-v-e. I've been going to him for over 10 years, his wife is the best and I worked his dauther's 7th birthday party back in the day when I had 5 jobs in one year - one of which was at a paint your own pottery store. She is now in college which says just one thing - I AM OLD.

So I was freaked out that precious B had a cavity at the tender age of one. The thought was horrifying because, as I think I've mentioned here before, I'm a huge fan of good oral hygene and pride myself for having zero cavities. I talked to Kelly (Dr. Greenlee's wife) and she said to bring her on in and he'll take a look. Kelly and all the ladies there are crazy about babies so B received a huge welcome. She was cool with everything until Dr. Greenlee started poking around in her mouth.

Dr. G saw said spot and pulled out the plaque scraper thing. I had to hold B's arms down which added to her fury. Less than a second later the spot in question is gone. What??? Yeah, gone. Just took a little more umph than I was giving it apparently.

Crazy mom? Perhaps. But Dr. G did give me props for even noticing the spot and being so diligent about brushing her little pearls.

And she officially became the youngest member of the No Cavaties Club. An honor worth noting I'd say.

It Gets Better.

I was telling my friend Jessica about the Lion / Tiger confusion and my comment that I totally understand how Jessica Simpson was confused about the Tuna / Chicken of the Sea thing. Well, ends up that just the weekend before, her husband was making tuna salad and Jessica asked him what kind. He replied "Chicken of the Sea". And she said, "Oh no, honey. That is canned chicken." He assured her it was indeed tuna and she played it off and then secretly snuck into the pantry to read the label. Ends up Jason and Nick were right.

At least I'm not alone...

Anyone?

Did you know that the tiger is not the female version of the lion? Just wondering...

Luky Me.

Ahhh, thank you ladies. Your answers to my questions made me laugh and lifted a weight off of my shoulders. I don't know if things will change as she gets older, but for now I will do every other possible form of parenting/discipline that I can think of before tapping my baby - see, I can't even say the words hitting, hand-slapping, spanking when I'm talking in terms of my sweet B! I really thought about it last night and she is SUCH a good, sweet baby. And this is a normal phase for her to go through. I just don't feel right doing it but am glad I put some feelers out to get a pulse on the situation. And thank you, Di, for the no judgement comment. I can't say that I will never spank her but at this stage, that is not the path for us to go down.

And on the bright side, we're saving money on dog food. Lola and Gunner are wishing Brantley had come along much sooner.

Questions...

(1) Do any of you other bloggers have as many issues as I do fomatting your blogs? Note the non-spaces between paragraphs and the different font size in "Piece de Resistance". Knowing that 3 of my 3 readers are perfectionists, this is completely unacceptable. And it makes me coocoo.

(2) How do you discipline a 15 month old who continues to swipe her food off of her plate onto the floor when she is done eating. Knowing good and well that she knows how to sign "all done"? (a) Firmly saying "no. not nice" - doesn't work. In fact, she thinks those 3 words coming out of my mouth at these instances are HILARIOUS. (b) In addition to (a), taking her dinner away - uh, yeah, that is what she wants you to do because she is ALL DONE. (c) Not reacting with any verbal cues and calmly taking dinner away - fine and dandy with the Bster. (d) Matt very firmly saying "no brantley" - quivering lip, big tears. (e) Holding her hands firmly mid-swipe - more laughter and completes the swipe the second you let go. Pisser that girl is.

(3) Given question (2), I pose question (3). Is it time to pop - swat - firmly pat her hand when she does this? Is this how I want to discipline my child? Will it teach her to hit? Have I tried enough positive reinforcement? Have I tried every other option before resorting to this one? A lot of times I can see when it is about to happen - can I intercept the the swipe before it is in full force enough times that she forgets how fun it is to throw your food on the ground? When do you put your foot down on behavior that they know is wrong and do anyway? AND WHY THE HECK DOESN'T SHE BEHAVE LIKE THIS WITH JACKIE?

(4) Why did my flickr uploader stop working and when the heck am I'm going to get that fixed?

(5) Was getting tatoos REALLY that smart?

(6) Is crying in front of your boss a sign of weakness?

(7) Who knew that being without Matt for 8 days would make me miss him this much?

(8) Who will never, ever, never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever be moving to Seattle? ME

Piece de Resistance

She arrived. I've been waiting for weeks and she was finally delivered. I see a lot of things happening here - paying bills, which doesn't sound fun, but in addition to that, getting control of our finances, writing, getting some ideas into something more than ideas, maybe getting a baby book done for my now toddler, getting organized. It's all going down right here and I can't be more pleased.

There are a few key items to note in photo #1: the Vaseline Intensive Care Lip Therapy and the Banana Republic credit card next to the tube. We'll start with the BR CC. I am a BR fan. I'd say 99% of the time I walk into their store, I spot something I would like to purchase. Their clothes just fit me (although, something is going on with their Martin pants b/c the last couple pairs I bought, I could stuff socks down the sides into the hip area to fill them out. Now I KNOW it is not my hips that have slimmed down so it definitely is the way they are sewing those puppies up. Not a fan. But I have yet to find a suitable replacement.) So, I am such a faithful BR shopper that I am a LUXE card carrying member. Cream of the Banana Republic credit crop. Up until Friday I have enjoyed my card and the privileges that come with it. Then came my lunch hour on Friday when I decided to buy B some spring clothes from Old Navy (BR and ON are sister companies...along with Gap and Piperlime - which, if you haven't heard of Piperlime, I suggest checking them out.) I painstakingly went through the site and picked out some cute dresses for my B. Was satisfied with my Shopping Cart and excited about the 30% discount I was receiving and proceeded to Checkout.

That is when it all went wrong. My card would not work. The LUXE was denied. And I was all WHOA. NOT GOOD. I tried the whole process again thinking it was a technical glitch but alas, it was not. Something was up. I promptly logged on to my account and found everything seemed to be in order. What the heck? That night I received an automated phone call wanting to confirm that the activity on my card today was legit and there was no fraudulent activity going on. Uh, yeah, there was not only no fraudulent activity going on - there was NO ACTIVITY going on.

I try to give it another go this morning and once again, nothing. So I call customer service and she said to let's place the order over the phone. After 20 minutes of giving her the item numbers of the 12 things in my shopping cart - while Brantley is intermittently crying and feeding Gunner Cheerios - the card is denied again. ^%$@*!!! She then tells me that I won't be able to use my 30% discount b/c it is a one time only deal. Fuming, I tried in my most polite voice to inform her that I HAD NOT USED THE DISCOUNT!! Then Sophia the supervisor came on. Very professionally she said that she created a draft purchase of my items, she would transfer me to the CC department, I could get it straightened out and then they would transfer me back to her and we could complete the order. I said that sounds like a wonderful plan. But, I told her I had tried calling the CC department on Friday and was either (1) cut off or (2) not able to even get through so what was going to happen if by chance (1) or (1) were to happen again. She assured me that she would stay on the line until I was talking to a live person. I said ok. I'm ready. I wait....and wait...I ask B to please stop crying for just 5 minutes...I wait...I tell Gunner for the umpteenth time to GET OUT of the playroom...I wait...and then...BEEP - BEEP - BEEP. Oh you blankety blank blank. Earmuffs Brantley.

Screw you LUXE card. I'm not sure what it is going to take to win me back but I suggest you get your gameplan together. If is wasn't for this piece de resistance I'm sitting at, I would be so HOT.

And the Vaseline Intensive Care Lip Therapy - that, I just can't live without and have them stocked everywhere.

Va!

About 6 months ago, Brantley started pointing at the dogs and saying "Va!". We paid attention for a couple of days and decided this was her word for "dog". Then she started saying it whenever she saw a dog and whenever she got excited. But she's come back around to just using it for dog. And, I have to say, the day she begins to actually use the word "dog," I will be so sad.

Other Brantley updates:

*Pointed to the bears in "Goodnight Moon" - has been pointing to the cats for a while now.
*Barks when asked what dogs say.
*Walks! I can't believe I didn't post about her first steps and really walking...I'll try to get that down soon before the memory gets edged out by other milestones, grocery lists, and work projects.
*Signs milk, all done, hi, bye-bye, and will rub my chest to say please - sometimes
*Says "bee" for baby - and will pretend to wash her baby, "dee" for deer, "du" for duck, "da" for dada, "ma" for mamma, and a whole bunch of other sounds that we have yet to figure out.
*Oh yeah, and my favorite: "ni, ni, ni, ni" along with the two index fingers going Red Raider style.

My little bug is growing up so fast. Which is why I'm so excited about this year. My sabbatical from work has come around again (crazy!) so this May, B and I are headed to the beach for 3 glorious weeks! I cannot wait!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

We had our fingers crossed that this would be the year the snow would come and we were not disappointed! All of the stars were aligned and we watched as green and brown turned into inches of pure white. Beautiful.

Unfortunately, Brantley is cutting a tooth, or teeth, and was not her happy little self. We were able to pry her little, needy body off of me for a quick romp in the snow.

Blob to Crazy in 12 Months

Cake

I hit checkout.

And I feel like a new woman. You may think I ordered a rejeuvenating face cream, made an appointment for a full body massage, or bought a scrumptuous bath oil with thoughts of relaxing in the tub with a good book and a glass of wine. You would be wrong. I just found it. A desk/glass door hutch that is going to change my life. I am going to have a place. A place for my stuff. For being organized. For keeping pretty things. Yea me!

And I'm going to make curtains...me...making curtains. With grommets!!

Piggies have a price.

Before:

After:

Sweet, sweet baby

I'm so sad and happy and thankful and joyful and scared all at the same time. My sweet, sweet baby has turned one. It feels like yesterday that I was writhing in pain and Matt was asking if he just had time to eat the Rotel he had heated up. If I could have said anything it would have been NO...NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

And it was like yesterday that you were born and I saw your daddy cry.

And I think it was yesterday that I would jump out of bed at 2:00 in the morning so excited to spend more time with you.

And I would cry while feeding you because your new CD player not only plays music and shows the time, but it also shows the date. I watched that date click away day after day and become petrified that I had not burned into my memory every aspect of you. That you had changed in some way and I had missed it.

And it seems like yesterday that you smiled at me and rolled over and babbled and I had to go back to work and trust someone else to care for you in my absence. And you laughed and you crawled and you belly laughed and you threw your whole dinner on the floor and laughed REALLY hard when I told you no (ok, that actually was yesterday).

Everyone told me that time would go by so fast and I never had a doubt that wasn't true. I was, and still am, ultra aware of it and it kills me. I know that working is the right thing for me and our family but it just plain sucks sometimes.

I'm not sure what we did to deserve you but it must have been really, really good. If they had a Best Baby award, you would so walk away with that trophy. Not only do I love you with this love I didn't know I was capable of, but I really like you. I like you because whenever I'm easvesdropping on you, you are cracking up at whatever it is your saying. You're kind of like a puppy who is always so excited to see me. You have this playful sense of humor that I was amazed to see at such a young age. You give lots of unsolicited kisses and until last week in the dressing room of Nordstrom's, you knew no stranger. You love a party. You play well with others. Lola and Gunner are becoming your best friends - they make you laugh but already you let them know when you've had enough. You like THE PRETTY (aka jewelry), but you've also developed a fondness for the mounted deer heads in your daddy's office - I will continue to support this behavior for you, and for him. And, I'll be honest, one of your most endearing features is you hardly ever cry. We know something is wrong if you're crying and I thank God daily that the worst thing you've gone through is growing some teeth. You're a rockstar my little Bug. I LOVE YOU.

So, sad - that time goes by so quickly.
Happy and joyful that you are happy and joyful.
Thankful - EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.
And scared. Or fearful. That one day it may all change. Which brings me back to thankful. I'm thankful for my faith and for the woman who told me "If you're walking in fear then you're not walking in faith." Oh, how many times I've said that to myself to get me straight again...

Pictures coming soon....

Get out your Bibles.

I'm working - ok, I really was working up to the point that I looked up and out my window and saw a rainbow. I haven't seen one in ages. The last time I remember talking about rainbows was in my college Bible Study and there was this kind of annoying girl in there (I know, not very Christian-like of me but if someone can tell me where in the Bible it says that we have to LIKE EVERYONE, I'll take the appropriate actions). She was going through some stuff and one day was walking across campus with her head hung low when she happened to look up and saw a rainbow. And from that moment on she vowed to, and I quote, NEVER WALK WITH HER DOWN AGAIN because there is hope in the world. Now, I love that she had that moment with God and I love that she saw that rainbow and her spirits were lifted. It is just the dramatic telling of the story that I didn't care for.

But before that memory came zooming in, I had my own little moment. I saw the rainbow, I paused and I gave God a little smile, nod and thank you. And then I got curious about the rainbow and how it is referenced in the Bible so I headed for our universal friend the Internet. From what I found it looks like it was God's way of telling Noah there would be no more flooding...which I think you could interpret further as troubles are behind you and there is hope for calmer waters. I love that.

Furthermore, everyone around here has about had it with the Seattle weather we've been having FOREVER. And wouldn't you know it, I watched that rainbow until it disappeared, started typing, looked up again ,and stretched before me is a CLEAR BLUE SKY! Hallelujah!

And again...

At 2:30 I went to the ladies room for the first time today. The Hanky Pankies are on - but they're on WRONG SIDE OUT!

Uhhhh....

Made it to 11:00 yesterday with my shirt on inside out at work.

It's quiet and I like it.

It seems like this is the first time in a month that I've been is silence. I almost want to cry it is such a relief. Not that I'm not thankful for the noises that make up my life, but a girl can only take so much before the urge to stuff mashed potatoes in her ears becomes more of a reality than a passing fantasy.

So I'm a big Christmas person. I love everything about it - Christmas Eve church service, carols 24/7, lights, trees, stockings, giving....receiving, food, wine, cheer. Love it all. Well this year the Helbig's had no tree. No tree, no lights, no baking, no Christmas parties, and no Christmas Eve service. I did manage to get the stockings hung which was less than satisying b/c we have 5 members of the family and I only have 4 matching stocking holders. This glitch in perfection made me crazy. Not to mention we don't have 5 matching stockings. Lola and Gunner actually have the best stockings out of all of us. But that is just the tree topper on the non-existent tree. For the 4 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas we kept talking about the tree that never came to be and when I realized we were going to have a treeless Christmas, I decided we had failed as parents. My little brain was telling me that this Christmas was going to set the precendent for all Christmas' to come. It was Brantley's first and the kid had no tree. Now I know that Christmas is much more than a tree but come on. NO TREE?!?! So sad for me and Bug. Matt has come away unscathed.

The upside of all of this is that it took all of 3 minutes to put Christmas away!

Our holidays in as few words as possible:
Mom and Dad spent a month on the east coast and were a huge help in taking care of B while Jackie had some time off and and Matt and I had to work.

My Great Uncle JC passed away. We were all very thankful to have spent Thanksgiving with him and he is greatly missed.

Christmas Eve Eve we drove 9 hours to NJ. Hit freezing rain during the 7th hour. Ran out of windshield wiper fluid. Realized windshield wipers needed to be replaced.

Christmas Eve we celebrated with the Helbigs.

Christmas Day we celebrated with Granny. Ate filet mignon. Yum.

Day after Christmas celebrated B's birthday with all of Granny's super nice friends. B ate a not so pretty but delicious chocolate cake. Drove 7 hours, 45 minutes home that night.

All 6 dogs, yes, it says 6, were really well behaved.

Matt's brothers were really well behaved.

Mom, Dad, Trudi, Doug and girls came to celebrate B's birthday. She dove face first into her cupcake - no hands - thought it was real funny. We did too.

Worked when I was supposed to be off. Am slightly bitter but thankful to have a job. Am more thankful than bitter.

Had the forethought to postpone B's birthday party with friends to next weekend instead of today. Every now and then I have a brush with genius.

Took a long, needed walk on the river with hubby, baby and dogs this morning. Ahhh....

Had date with hubby while parents were here. Saw Marley & Me. Bawled. Came home and loved on our furry children. Decided it was like watching our life on the big screen but they lived in much better houses. And Jennifer Aniston is way hotter than me.

Am trying to find a computer armoire. Can't understand why it is so hard. Trying to figure out some tax stuff. Not suprised that it is hard but don't understand why it has to be.

Am trying to find some material for some curtains which will finish up our playroom / guestroom / Matt's closet.

Am waiting for flickr to download 235 pictures. Am contemplating going back to blonde - don't want to due to upkeep, money, and time. Want to so I don't feel like a hag.

Competed the 12 days of Christmas wellness challenge through work. Don't think I get anything except the satisfaction of knowing I may have staved (is that a word?) off some holiday poundage.

My time is up. Matt just pulled in and Brantley just woke up. Bye bye quiet time. Hope to see you again in less than a month.