Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

We had our fingers crossed that this would be the year the snow would come and we were not disappointed! All of the stars were aligned and we watched as green and brown turned into inches of pure white. Beautiful.

Unfortunately, Brantley is cutting a tooth, or teeth, and was not her happy little self. We were able to pry her little, needy body off of me for a quick romp in the snow.

Blob to Crazy in 12 Months

Cake

I hit checkout.

And I feel like a new woman. You may think I ordered a rejeuvenating face cream, made an appointment for a full body massage, or bought a scrumptuous bath oil with thoughts of relaxing in the tub with a good book and a glass of wine. You would be wrong. I just found it. A desk/glass door hutch that is going to change my life. I am going to have a place. A place for my stuff. For being organized. For keeping pretty things. Yea me!

And I'm going to make curtains...me...making curtains. With grommets!!

Piggies have a price.

Before:

After:

Sweet, sweet baby

I'm so sad and happy and thankful and joyful and scared all at the same time. My sweet, sweet baby has turned one. It feels like yesterday that I was writhing in pain and Matt was asking if he just had time to eat the Rotel he had heated up. If I could have said anything it would have been NO...NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

And it was like yesterday that you were born and I saw your daddy cry.

And I think it was yesterday that I would jump out of bed at 2:00 in the morning so excited to spend more time with you.

And I would cry while feeding you because your new CD player not only plays music and shows the time, but it also shows the date. I watched that date click away day after day and become petrified that I had not burned into my memory every aspect of you. That you had changed in some way and I had missed it.

And it seems like yesterday that you smiled at me and rolled over and babbled and I had to go back to work and trust someone else to care for you in my absence. And you laughed and you crawled and you belly laughed and you threw your whole dinner on the floor and laughed REALLY hard when I told you no (ok, that actually was yesterday).

Everyone told me that time would go by so fast and I never had a doubt that wasn't true. I was, and still am, ultra aware of it and it kills me. I know that working is the right thing for me and our family but it just plain sucks sometimes.

I'm not sure what we did to deserve you but it must have been really, really good. If they had a Best Baby award, you would so walk away with that trophy. Not only do I love you with this love I didn't know I was capable of, but I really like you. I like you because whenever I'm easvesdropping on you, you are cracking up at whatever it is your saying. You're kind of like a puppy who is always so excited to see me. You have this playful sense of humor that I was amazed to see at such a young age. You give lots of unsolicited kisses and until last week in the dressing room of Nordstrom's, you knew no stranger. You love a party. You play well with others. Lola and Gunner are becoming your best friends - they make you laugh but already you let them know when you've had enough. You like THE PRETTY (aka jewelry), but you've also developed a fondness for the mounted deer heads in your daddy's office - I will continue to support this behavior for you, and for him. And, I'll be honest, one of your most endearing features is you hardly ever cry. We know something is wrong if you're crying and I thank God daily that the worst thing you've gone through is growing some teeth. You're a rockstar my little Bug. I LOVE YOU.

So, sad - that time goes by so quickly.
Happy and joyful that you are happy and joyful.
Thankful - EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.
And scared. Or fearful. That one day it may all change. Which brings me back to thankful. I'm thankful for my faith and for the woman who told me "If you're walking in fear then you're not walking in faith." Oh, how many times I've said that to myself to get me straight again...

Pictures coming soon....

Get out your Bibles.

I'm working - ok, I really was working up to the point that I looked up and out my window and saw a rainbow. I haven't seen one in ages. The last time I remember talking about rainbows was in my college Bible Study and there was this kind of annoying girl in there (I know, not very Christian-like of me but if someone can tell me where in the Bible it says that we have to LIKE EVERYONE, I'll take the appropriate actions). She was going through some stuff and one day was walking across campus with her head hung low when she happened to look up and saw a rainbow. And from that moment on she vowed to, and I quote, NEVER WALK WITH HER DOWN AGAIN because there is hope in the world. Now, I love that she had that moment with God and I love that she saw that rainbow and her spirits were lifted. It is just the dramatic telling of the story that I didn't care for.

But before that memory came zooming in, I had my own little moment. I saw the rainbow, I paused and I gave God a little smile, nod and thank you. And then I got curious about the rainbow and how it is referenced in the Bible so I headed for our universal friend the Internet. From what I found it looks like it was God's way of telling Noah there would be no more flooding...which I think you could interpret further as troubles are behind you and there is hope for calmer waters. I love that.

Furthermore, everyone around here has about had it with the Seattle weather we've been having FOREVER. And wouldn't you know it, I watched that rainbow until it disappeared, started typing, looked up again ,and stretched before me is a CLEAR BLUE SKY! Hallelujah!

And again...

At 2:30 I went to the ladies room for the first time today. The Hanky Pankies are on - but they're on WRONG SIDE OUT!

Uhhhh....

Made it to 11:00 yesterday with my shirt on inside out at work.

It's quiet and I like it.

It seems like this is the first time in a month that I've been is silence. I almost want to cry it is such a relief. Not that I'm not thankful for the noises that make up my life, but a girl can only take so much before the urge to stuff mashed potatoes in her ears becomes more of a reality than a passing fantasy.

So I'm a big Christmas person. I love everything about it - Christmas Eve church service, carols 24/7, lights, trees, stockings, giving....receiving, food, wine, cheer. Love it all. Well this year the Helbig's had no tree. No tree, no lights, no baking, no Christmas parties, and no Christmas Eve service. I did manage to get the stockings hung which was less than satisying b/c we have 5 members of the family and I only have 4 matching stocking holders. This glitch in perfection made me crazy. Not to mention we don't have 5 matching stockings. Lola and Gunner actually have the best stockings out of all of us. But that is just the tree topper on the non-existent tree. For the 4 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas we kept talking about the tree that never came to be and when I realized we were going to have a treeless Christmas, I decided we had failed as parents. My little brain was telling me that this Christmas was going to set the precendent for all Christmas' to come. It was Brantley's first and the kid had no tree. Now I know that Christmas is much more than a tree but come on. NO TREE?!?! So sad for me and Bug. Matt has come away unscathed.

The upside of all of this is that it took all of 3 minutes to put Christmas away!

Our holidays in as few words as possible:
Mom and Dad spent a month on the east coast and were a huge help in taking care of B while Jackie had some time off and and Matt and I had to work.

My Great Uncle JC passed away. We were all very thankful to have spent Thanksgiving with him and he is greatly missed.

Christmas Eve Eve we drove 9 hours to NJ. Hit freezing rain during the 7th hour. Ran out of windshield wiper fluid. Realized windshield wipers needed to be replaced.

Christmas Eve we celebrated with the Helbigs.

Christmas Day we celebrated with Granny. Ate filet mignon. Yum.

Day after Christmas celebrated B's birthday with all of Granny's super nice friends. B ate a not so pretty but delicious chocolate cake. Drove 7 hours, 45 minutes home that night.

All 6 dogs, yes, it says 6, were really well behaved.

Matt's brothers were really well behaved.

Mom, Dad, Trudi, Doug and girls came to celebrate B's birthday. She dove face first into her cupcake - no hands - thought it was real funny. We did too.

Worked when I was supposed to be off. Am slightly bitter but thankful to have a job. Am more thankful than bitter.

Had the forethought to postpone B's birthday party with friends to next weekend instead of today. Every now and then I have a brush with genius.

Took a long, needed walk on the river with hubby, baby and dogs this morning. Ahhh....

Had date with hubby while parents were here. Saw Marley & Me. Bawled. Came home and loved on our furry children. Decided it was like watching our life on the big screen but they lived in much better houses. And Jennifer Aniston is way hotter than me.

Am trying to find a computer armoire. Can't understand why it is so hard. Trying to figure out some tax stuff. Not suprised that it is hard but don't understand why it has to be.

Am trying to find some material for some curtains which will finish up our playroom / guestroom / Matt's closet.

Am waiting for flickr to download 235 pictures. Am contemplating going back to blonde - don't want to due to upkeep, money, and time. Want to so I don't feel like a hag.

Competed the 12 days of Christmas wellness challenge through work. Don't think I get anything except the satisfaction of knowing I may have staved (is that a word?) off some holiday poundage.

My time is up. Matt just pulled in and Brantley just woke up. Bye bye quiet time. Hope to see you again in less than a month.